Death

Death. Such a strong word. In fact, I don't think "strong" is even the right word to describe it. More like a "sad" or "depressing" word. Speaking of death, I wish I was (from my dad's side) besides both my grandma and grandpa's death time so I can see them alive for the last time. I don't regret it because there is nothing I could do about it. I was only a child/pre-teen when they died so I couldn't have afforded my own ticket over seas anyway. Although, I do wish that I could go to their funeral but that's not my decision. Yer, I admit, I miss them both. I was only able to see them once every two years and that's only if I go overseas.

* * * *

I remember being in the hospital my grandpa was in. Although, we were his "relative" us "grandchildren" was not allowed to go in and visit him and from memory, only my dad went in and I can understand why. After that... well... my memory fails me as I cannot remember what happened afterward. This only happened when I was still in primary school so I guess it's normal in a way... however, I do remember being back home... and received a phone call from a relative back "home" but I once again, have no memory of what they said. But I do remember, my dad was pretty pissed at that moment as he said he will sue that hospital for not taking care of a patient...I can understand why he was mad at that time...
The way my mum and dad described him...he sounded like a very strict and a bad father/grandfather. And I know I said I don't judge people...and considering that I only saw him like once or twice? I have to say, I didn't like him very much from what I heard. Although I dislike him very much, I still want to be by his side when he died, I still want to be by his death bed when it was time. I dislike him, but I still loved him, I still missed him, I still want to see him, get to know him more. He eventually passed away with an illness... * * * *
How did my grandma died? Well...I'm guessing she died at the hospital too. Natural death or illness? At first I thought it was of natural death but now, I honestly don't know anymore. I saw her a couple more times then I did with my grandpa. She died sometime in March two years ago. 2007 Christmas/2008 Summer holidays were the last time I saw her when I was still over seas. I feel more sorry for my brother because he didn't come with us that time therefore, the last time he saw her was...more than 2 years ago (if that made any sense). We did not know this was coming so early. One minute, we were in the lounge room watching television and having a laugh. The next, we got a phone call from over seas saying she passed away. Once again, I was not by her side during her death time. And once again, I wished I was by her side when she died, by her death bed. Although, she seems like she did not have much memory of me, I still loved her and I missed seeing her. I knew her time was coming, just not that soon.

I don't know much about them. I don't have much memory about them yet I still missed and loved them both dearly and wished to see them again, get to know them more, but that's life and we have to move on no matter how hard it is... besides, I still have my grandparents from my mum's side and I see them quite often...and I'll cherish every moment I have with them and every time I see them...to be honest, I am a lot closer to them then I was to my other grandparents from my dad's side.

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On Monday, August 23rd 2010 , something tragic happened. Yes, the word "Death" appears once again...
A bunch of tourists, mainly from Hong Kong was held hostage by an ex-Senior Inspector (with a M-16 assult rifle in hand) in the Philippians yesterday morning while on their way to Manila on a tour bus known as "Hong Thai Travel". It seemed peaceful. The "attacker" posted several notes on the tour bus. One saying something like, "...You have made a big mistake..." another saying, "Big deal...3pm " and a couple more. Tourists were allow to lift the curtain and look outside. No body was killed yet. Then something happened and the attacker started going pyshco/mental. It was at night time, the tour bus started to move in attempt to escape but fail due to the police, shooting and flattening the front tires making it impossible for the attacker to escape. The police force/S.W.A.T team than started to surround the tour bus. They then tried 5 ways to get in but all attempt failed. They then found a back up/exit door towards the back of the bus after a good whole hour of trying to get in. During the operation, several gun shots was heard. A woman was clearly shown on the camera that she was shot dead by the attacker as well as some gun marks was also shown and we were able to locate where the woman was shot. Earlier on in the evening, a guy who was identified as the bus driver escaped through the window and ran for his life, ran to safety as fast as he can and reported that all, "...hostages are dead... ". According to the news, "Police said Mendoza (the attacker) was shot dead by a sniper after he used his captives as 'human shields' in the finale moments of the siege" The massacre finally ended at around 8:45ish pm in the evening.

-->* * * * http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/world/7811275/survivor-blames-authorities-in-bus-siege/

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Philippines-Gunman-Hijacks-Tourist-Bus-In-Manila-Packed-With-Children-And-Adults-Gunshots-Heard/Article/201008415702444?lpos=World_News_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15702444_Philippines_Gunman_Hijacks_Tourist_Bus_In_Manila_Packed_With_Children_And_Adults%2C_Gunshots_Heard

--> Above are the two links to the massacre if you want to know more information on it that is which I hardly doubt you will nor will you even find it interesting.

* * * *

This former police men was sacked for a crime he did not commit and in order to get his job back, he held poor innocent lives as hostages. Yeah, good job there Mr Mendoza, because what you were doing there is so gonna give you your job back. The funny thing was, when the bus driver escaped, he said all the people on board is dead but what do they find in the end? Some survivors. Yup I'm sure everyone but you are all dead and you must feel proud to be the only survivor. (There's that trust again. Did I mentioned anywhere that I don't believe in things unless I see them with my own eyes?). Another funny thing was the whole emergency exit door. That was an... two words, EPIC FAIL. The operation was also describe as, "...unimpressive..." One of the survivor said that he didn't want to kill anyone. That I believe. He released some people at least in return to have his job back. He released a diabetic man, 3 children and a guardian and 3 Filipinos. Normally, you wouldn't allow people to go to bathrooms. But this attacker, allowed 2 people to go to the bathrooms however, the police officers did not allow them to go back on once they were off that tour bus. Those who were released was sent back to the hotel. This shows that the attacker didn't mean any harm and only wanted his job back. I changed my mind, the attacker was a good man with a good heart. He only started shooting/killing people when he found out that his brother was being pushed (or perhaps arrested) into a police car. That was when he started to go mental and lose control of himself. Did I mentioned that he has a son and a brother who is also a police man? What will be my way of solving this situation? Agree to whatever he wants then once his off the bus and is "weaponless", quickly arrest him. What are my opinion? The S.W.A.T teams needs more training, the government needs to provide more supplies to the officers rather than just a jack-hammer or what ever they are called, they need to pull their act together more quickly, they need to be more prepare and have an actual plan. There are probably more that are yet to escape my mind.
What was meant to be a good and fun holiday turns into a deadly (with a very little chance of surviving) vacation.

* * * *

Sometimes, life is hard. There are no such thing as safety in this world. No country is safe. Peaceful, maybe. Safety = no.
Once again, life is full of unfairness. Earlier on tonight, I had a lot more to write...but now...I'm lost for words. They all seemed to just...disappeared and I can't remember some of the things I was going to write. Yer, I think I am lost for words. I'm also tired right now. So I think I'm going to stop writing...for now.

Trust?

It was a shame that the other day, I had to teach my sister not to trust people 100%. As obvious, she's the kind of person who trust or believe in people 100%. It's weird because, seeing she is the older sister and I'm the youngest of the family, shes suppose to be the one teaching me this...
How did I learnt this? I honestly do not know or cannot remember. Guess I learnt that lesson or taught myself that while growing up.
Never ever trust people 100%. Even if they are a close friend, your best friend, someone you grew up with, someone you are in love with. Not even your family. In my own opinion, you can only trust people with 99.9%. So where's the other 0.1%? I think I should leave you to decide where that 0.1% trust should go.
It's funny how I said to never trust a person completely. You think I'm crazy right? Well I tell you what? I don't care if you do or not because it's my life and I get to decide what to do with it. So you can say all you want about me. I don't care. You can trust a person with 100% if you want. But to me, I can never do that, because, like I said earlier, even if they are a close friend, your best friend, someone you grew up with, someone you are in love with, not even your family is trustworthy because there is always that o.1% chance that they will try to hurt you, turn against you, do things behind your back that you may not know. And when you find out about it, it's too late to fix it, it's too late to forgive them. But in my world, I'll stick to the saying, "Never Trust Anyone With Your Life but Yourself". And I will always stick to that saying. Enough said. If I continue any longer, I think I'm gonna repeat my self so I'm gonna stop writing right now, right here.

Excursion

From today, exactly a week ago...
On Tuesday, August 3rd 2010, a group of year 11, Politics and Law students went to the city and visited three different courts. Magistrate, District and Supreme Court. They were quite lucky on that day because there were "live" cases that was happening on that day, which also meant that they were able to see some "real live" action on that day as well. This was good as they were able to see what is really going on and what is really happening and how a court operates within an actual court. Too bad they didn't see any big cases. Too bad they didn't get to see the two lawyers argue like they do on television shows. Too bad they were only small cases. Some ancient stuff they saw in the Alexander Library was pretty amazing. One student in particular found it hard to believe that she was seeing stuff that had belonged in the past. The excursion finally came to an end with everyone going their own separate ways. I think it is safe to say that everyone (or at least me) had a good time :)

* * * *

On that day, I came home thinking, we were once young, so innocent, so happy being a child. We look as if, we will grow up to be a good person who will never commit a crime under any circumstances. So how does people go from innocent to evil? How can one commit a crime and go to jail? How can one commit a crime and not feel guilty after? How can one be so cold hearted? Have no feelings? The answer is very simple. One wrong choice/decision, one wrong turn and you will end up being in a dead end. Meaning, you will end up becoming a person you were not meant to be. A Devil. God didn't create us to commit a crime or become a devil. He created us to become a good human being. A better person. An Angel. Someone who can look after mother nature, the animals, the world, the earth, some one who can look after or take care of one another with love. He created us because he loves us. He created us because he has faith that we can change the world together as a whole. He created us so we can create world peace. Hence the saying, "Make Love, Not War". I guess one day, regardless of me being here, being able to see it or not, maybe one day, there will be "World Peace " and when that day comes... only God knows where I'll be and no matter how much I want to see that day come, only one person will forever be here to see that day come. That is God ♥
And regardless of me being dead or alive, he will remain in my heart forever ♥

The Beginning

I was looking back at my posts the other day and figured, I haven't done an "About Me" section... guess I just wanted to jump straight into it, you'll know why if you read my first post... ANYWAYS, I won't be telling you about my name nor my age (aka, personal details) because of at least 5 things.
1. I'm 'Internet Safety'
2. I don't see the need in telling strangers about my personal details
3. I don't see why people will ever read my embarrassing, boring, random posts/blogs that I blab
on about anything that comes to mind (and half the time, what I'm writing just doesn't make
sense me thinks)
4. People who are smart enough can guess who I am
5. My friends knows who I am so there is no need to say it...
and possibly more...but anyways, let's get started shall we? (my friends who knows me well enough should be able to fill in the blanks in their own little mind O.o)

* * * *

"Heyyy there! How are you? Nice to meet you, my name is ______ ______ and I'm ____ years old and as you can tell from my background and my profile picture, I am a female (DUH! -_-" ) and is proud to be an ______ ^__________^ People describe me as nice, caring, kind. Some even say I have a nice smile (pffft.. as if I do, I hate my smile, it's gay! XP ). Others may say I look pretty (again, pffft... as if, I'm hell ugly XP). But do they really mean it? I don't think so, I'm pretty sure they are being sarcastic and am just trying to be nice...
Ever heard of the saying, 'Don't judge a book by its cover'? Well, I'm that type of girl that doesn't judge a person just by looking at them. I'm that type of girl who you will find to be...

shy and extremely quite when being in a big group of people that I'm not friends with. I'm that type of girl who you will find to be quite boring and annoying at all times. I'm that type of girl who tries to make/make sure or wants everyone around her to be happy or be in a good mood. That girl who is polite and willing to help others if possible, that girl who doesn't like being mean nor racist, that girl who likes to have fun and have a good laugh all the times, that girl who repeats what she says a million times as well as bringing things up all the time even though they belonged in the past. I'm a really weird kid and trust me, I am. 'Where's the proof?' you may ask unknowingly. Well there are heaps of proof I tell you. HEAPS. Here are some of them. 1. I don't like jelly, lollies or anything along those lines (chocolate are all right. I still eat lollies but
not often and I take them with polite from others because I don't want them to feel rejected
because I didn't take their offer)
2. I'm force to study... A LOT... constantly... 24/7
3. I'm a very anti-social teenager and are only allow to go out on the holidays (don't blame me for
that, it's not my fault, my parents just doesn't like me going out during school days)
4. I seem to confuse people a lot, quite easily nor do I make sense and I don't think this
posts/blogs make any sense either (that's probably why I fail at essays, because I don't make
sense all the time)
There are many more proof that I could show and proof that I'm a weird teenager. But lets not get too carried away shall we?

* * * *

I am, what you will describe as an 'average day typical teenager' who doesn't like to make decision when she doesn't have to. Did I mention that I am a dork and a loser? Did I mention that I have no confident in my school work? Did I mention that I love children and find them...amazingly cute/adorable? Well you do now because I just mentioned it :P ).

* * * *

Let's move onto what I like doing/likes, dislikes and where I'll hopefully be/doing in the future or in the near future shall we? Likes doing/Likes
- Reading
- Hanging out with my friends
- Wants to travel around the world
- I don't play netball but I absolutely love that sport XD
- Going shopping
- Making new friends
- Reading (but I don't have the time anymore because of school work D; )
- Spending time with family. ( just to let you know, I love my family to bits! Both my parents
have done so much to make this a happy family and I appreciate for what they have done
for both my older siblings and I. Without the existence of my parents being together, this will
not have been a family nor will I exist. I owe them so much! I don't think I can ever repay
them back... thanks Mum and Dad, I love you both for internity!)
Dislikes (I've already mentioned them but all-well :P )
- Lollies
- Jelly
- People being mean to others
- People being racist to others
- Pickles
and many more that have yet to escape my mind/thoughts

What I'll be doing/Where I'll be in the future (hopefully) - As I said earlier, I want to travel around the world so hopefully... I could be a 'Flight
Attendant/Air Hostess' (hopefully I could work for 'Cathy Pacific' if I am able to work in that
area). - Maybe... go into University if I can get in which I doubt I can... (hopefully Curtin or ECU)
- Having my own family

* * * *

Well, I think I better stop now before I bore the hell outta you and put you to sleep. So bye for now. It was nice meeting you" =)

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Today is the tomorrow you worry about....
♥

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift
- a quote by Master Oogway from the movie, Kung Fu Panda
♥

Ice-Skating

July 17th, 2010 was the day that my friends, that is, Brittany, Nick, Joe and I went to Perth Ice Arena. It went from 10am to 12pm. I must say, it was a pretty fun session. Nick was the very first one to fall, then it was Brittany, but she didn't really because Nick told someone to fall and she volunteered... although I did hear that she fell once. Then it was Joe. I could say that I didn't fall at all (well at least almost) during the whole time that we were there. But in the last 15 minutes of the session and just as I started to move away from the wall and started to skate a little bit faster, BAM and the next thing I knew, I fell flat on my arse whilst my hat went flying onto the ice. But besides all the falling parts... the rink today, seeing as it is the weekend + the holidays = a very busy day. There was meant to be at least 6 people going but two bombed out. One had an acceptable excuse, the other was just not acceptable because she was "broke". When the session ended, we had a...let’s just say... a fun walk to the bus stop. Brittany, Nick and Joe were very excited when they found a real bus stop this time that will take us to Morley then to the City. We waited for at least half an hour before a bus came and during that time, we just talk about random things along with Brittany who ran towards the middle of the road (with no cars of course). It was quite funny when we arrived in Morley Bus Stop because Joe knew where we were going while Nick and Brittany wandered off looking for the bus 60 and what was I doing? I was just standing there waiting for everyone to walk in one direction before I started to make a move. The funny thing was the bus that we just took (344), unloaded all passengers that was on that bus and when the bus move, it wasn't even a km yet before it stop to pick up new passengers. It was like...a 2 second drive from one bus stop to another O.o We were planning to have lunch at Joondalup but as we were on the bus, there was a change of plan and we ended up going to the City and had lunch at hungry jack's instead. After lunch, we then caught the train back to Whitfords Trainstation. It was quite funny as we went onto the train. Brittany, Nick and I have all managed to find a seat of our own. Just as Joe was about to sit down, an old lady came and stole his seat that was next to me. It was quite funny as he was “rejected” but at the same time, I felt sorry for him because he had to stand by himself whilst we were all sitting down together but the good thing was, the old lady sitting next to me got up and left at one of the Trainstation so he didn’t had to be a loner throughout the whole ride.

But I must say, besides all the pros & cons, I did have a pretty swell day with my friends on July 17th, 2010 :)

Childhood

Childhood. What do you think of when you hear, see or think of the word childhood? When I hear, see or think of the word childhood, I think of innocence, cute, absent-minded, having a fun time and many more that have yet to escape my mind/thoughts. How is it possible that when we were a child, life seems so much easier? I guess it's obvious that I miss being a little girl... I also miss being the little girl who doesn't have to worry about a thing in the world because everyone makes the decision for her, that little girl who is always, ever so happy, that little girl who...I'm not gonna continue...but I guess growing up (to me that is) means being more mature, being able to make better decision and know what your doing, being able to see a bit further than when you were as a child and getting to know the world a bit better. I guess I just have to wait and see what the future brings for me. What will happen in the future? Will I still be that little girl at heart? Will I still be the same person I've always been or will I change into some monster? What will the future bring me? There is so many questions that I want to ask myself (and god), but I guess now is not the time, or maybe I just have to wait and see. I suppose I'll be able to discover the answer by myself or with the help of others one day... until then, I just have to stick with the present for now but my past as a little girl will always stay in my heart. My past will always remain behind. My past will always be in the past and it will stay in the past forever...