Monday, October 3, 2011

I wonder...

Just these last few days, I've been wondering about the future.
I wonder what the future holds for me.
I wonder what will happen to me.
I wonder if the path I'm taking is the right one.
I wonder what will happen to me next year?
I wonder if I will go to TAFE or straight into UNI or do a UPC course at ECU.
I wonder if I will be able to graduate high school?
Just wondering and thinking about those thoughts scares me and whenever I think about it, my heart begin to beat really fast. I've been in school for 12 years. I've always had the help and support from teachers, friends and classmates. If it weren't for them, I will most definitely be lost these past 12 years. Now that I'm finish with high school, excluding my family, I wonder if I'll still have the same support from my friends and others who I will meet along the way. Exams are coming up. Mocks is in a week time and the WACE is in a month time. Will I succeed or fail? I'm scared. I'm taking lots of deep breath these days. My heart is beating fast again. Sometimes, I image that there will be some kind of miracle. That I will pass in the end. I want to run. But I can't. I'm jealous of those who doesn't need to take exams. I'm jealous of those who are smart. I'm jealous of those who doesn't need to study and still get great marks. In two months time, this will all be over. I'm scared. What will become of me in the future? What have god planned for me?
I wonder...

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